“I Masturbated While Thinking Of My Best Friend & Had The Best Orgasm” & 27 Other Mom Confessions
Oh, my.
Normally when my brain is doing its thing — you know, running through all the things I need to do and the things I’m worried about and the things that randomly pop up like, “Remember Surge soda?” — I am completely oblivious. Someone will ask, “What are you thinking about?” and even though the answer can’t possibly be “nothing,” that’s what I always say. Because it’s mostly just a swirling mass of colors and noise.
The moms in this week’s Scary Mommy Confessions, however, definitely know what they’re thinking about. From crushes on people they can’t have to affairs to worrying about their kids to stressing about the family pet, these are the moms who will never answer “nothing” when someone asks what’s on their mind.
At least, not this week.
Scary Mommy Confessions are a tried-and-true part of what makes our site so fun. If you want to anonymously confess, look for our weekly callouts on Instagram. And to browse past Confessions, head here.
I’ve had a crush on one of my husband’s best friends since the summer we got married.
Confession #50111288
I’m looking forward to ending my anti-depressant so I can take my weight loss meds again.
Confession #52339279
Just had my second baby a week ago and already want a third.
Confession #51123330
If we didn’t have young kids, I’d be filing for a divorce from my husband.
Confession #53920028
Never exercised until two years ago. Now, fitness, running + swimming keep me sane.
Confession #54364100
My ex’s military schedule still messes with my life, even after divorce.
Confession #54011296
My toddler makes life miserable for everyone.
Confession #51037865
I wish someone would take care of me.
Confession #52021216
I wish I would’ve hooked up with more people when I was younger.
Confession #53933186
My husband filed for divorce behind my back. I’m devastated.
Confession #52092216
So ready for summer and the laid-back schedule.
Confession #50103136
I wish my daughter had a date for prom.
Confession #53777750
I was in an affair for three years. Now it’s done and I’m grieving.
Confession #51120105
My husband has planned a kinky weekend for our 15th anniversary, and I’m so excited!
Confession #54001817
Some days I really don’t like my kid. Or being a mom.
Confession #52221291
Sometimes I feel like the decision to step back from work to raise kids made me invisible.
Confession #51971333
I don’t care about my job. I just wanna be a mom.
Confession #50833311
My pap came back abnormal... now I have to go for additional testing.
Confession #51071543
Having mom guilt for going from remote to in-person. Did I make the right decision?
Confession #51837100
My landlord has been pocketing my rent and not paying bills. WTF?!
Confession #52111290
I have to put my dog down Friday and I fear I may never ever recover from this.
Confession #50922274
I hate sharing a bed with my husband.
Confession #50000130
I lose all motherly instincts when my kids are vomiting. You’re on your own, kid.
Confession #52110004
I masturbated while thinking of my best friend and had the best orgasm.
Confession #54102229
43, married, but just emailed my high school boyfriend I haven’t seen in 25+ years.
Confession #52380011
My kids are almost 30, and I miss living with them so much!
Confession #51112231
I’m afraid I’ll be stuck in a crappy marriage for the rest of my life.
Confession #51209933
I have two kids and a husband, and can’t keep up with the laundry! So many piles!
Confession #52313110
