Bad News Jessica: Gen Z Wrote This List Of “Old Lady Names”

For years now, “old lady/man names” have been gaining popularity among parents-to-be. Many are rediscovering the charm of names that have fallen out of favor in recent decades and imbuing them with new life. Eleanor, Henry, Dorothy, Theodore, Louise, and Waylon have overtaken trendier names like Jayden and Kayla.

But according to the youths, our concept of “old lady name” is completely off. At least that’s what nurse and TikTok creator Kelley Cole (@kelleykelleykelley) recently learned.

“I was told my name was an old lady name by the teenagers on the adolescent unit I was working on,” she begins. “I was surprised, so the subject came up of what names are Old Lady Names versus Young names.”

I, too, am surprised. I’m in my early-40s (which is not old) and I know a lot of Kellys/Kelleys/Kellis. Granted, I don’t know if any of them are younger than I am, but I don’t know any I would consider old. It’s just, shall we say, “of a particular era.” And to be clear, Kelly still ranks among the Top 1,000 baby names in the U.S. as of 2023, the last year for which we have data. It’s just a far cry from its popularity peak in 1977.

But I guess when you’re a teenager, 48 is ancient.

So here are some other “Old Lady” names as told to Cole. Gen-X and Millennial ladies: brace yourselves...

• Ashley
• Amanda
• Jessica
• Stephanie
• Jennifer
• Christy
• Tracey
• Stacey
• Amy
• Crystal
• Kelly
• Lisa
• Jordan
• Michelle
• Shelley
• Laura
• Laren
• Cathy
• Tammy
• Heather
• Angela/Angie

Listen. I’ll give you Cathy. Also Angela/Angie. Maybe Tammy, depending on the Tammy. But Jennifer? Jessica? Friggin’ Jordan?! I challenge you to find me a woman named Jordan over the age of 35. This name peaked for girls in 1998, making most Jordans 27. Come on, people.

Now I know what you’re thinking: if those are old lady names, what then are the young lady names? Don’t worry. The teens had opinions on that, too.

• Bella
• Isabelle
• Olivia
• Olive
• Ava
• Eden
• Emma
• Abigail/Abby
• Ella
• Gracie
• Zoë
• Rose

I *rubs temples; more tired than I’ve ever been*...

Look, I will give you Eden and Ella. Hell, I’ll even give you Ava, Olivia, and Zoë because — while they’re names that go back a ways — they’re more popular in recent years than ever before.

But are you going to look me in the eye and tell me Emma, Abigail, Gracie, and Rose are not Old Lady Names? Rose?! The name of the famously ancient Titanic survivor in Titanic?

Listen teens: we love you. We do. But you don’t know what you’re talking about. Go Tik a Tok or whatever it is you do...