Texas Legislators Are Trying To Ban “Furries” In Schools

I’m fascinated by urban legends and what they say about our collective fears about the world we live in. Like when my son came to me in third grade, sobbing about Bloody Mary — a figure that ruined my sleep and mental health at the same age, 30-ish years prior.

But every now and then, fears over certain urban legends have unfortunate consequences for real people. One prime example — the repeated (and repeatedly debunked) claim that children are using litter boxes at school because they identify as cats.

Guys, I’m so tired. But let’s get to it!

In March, Rep. Stan Gerdes introduced the F.U.R.R.I.E.S. Act

The F.U.R.R.I.E.S. Act stands for “Forbidding Unlawful Representation of Roleplaying in Education Act,” which kind of makes you wonder if there’s, like, one person coming up with the titles to make a clever acronym.

This bill would “prohibit any non-human behavior by a student, including presenting himself or herself, on days other than exempt days, as anything other than a human being.”

Examples include wearing accessories like tails and ears, collars; “barking, meowing, hissing, or other animal noises,” “licking oneself or others for the purpose of grooming or maintenance,” and, of course, using a litter box (more on that in a bit). Districts found tolerating the aforementioned behavior would be fined $10,000 for a first offense and $25,000 for subsequent offenses.

The bill is currently cosponsored by 56 of the House’s 88 Republican representatives and has been backed by Governor Greg Abbott.

“Kids go to school dressed up as cats with litter boxes in their classrooms,” he told an audience of pastors in March. The governor then touted proposed voucher programs, which would give families funds to cover part of the expense of private school tuition (providing a child was accepted to said school and could afford the rest of the bill), declaring vouchers a tonic against “the pervasive woke leftist agenda that’s being forced on our kids in our public schools.”

The concerns of the bill did not hold up to scrutiny

On April 30, Gerdes discussed the bill before the House Public Education Committee, where Representative James Talarico, who asked him to name a district where children were using litter boxes provided by the schools.

“What we do with this bill is we prevent that from happening,” Gerdes replied.

Talarico reiterated his question: “Can you name a school where it has been confirmed that students are using litter boxes? This was at the top of your press release. This was mentioned when you introduced this bill. Created quite a stir. So I’m asking, can you name a school where it’s been confirmed that there are litter boxes being provided to students?”

Gerdes could not.

And, indeed, the schools in his district actually issued a statement reading, in part:

“At this time, the District has no concerns related to students behaving as anything but typical children. Rep. Gerdes contacted Superintendent Cheryl Burns to ask if there were any litter boxes for students on District campuses. Burns informed Rep. Gerdes that there were not, but as a courtesy to Rep. Gerdes, Mrs. Burns made the extra effort to walk the campus to confirm that there were no litter boxes.”

Talarico categorized the bill as being based on “debunked conspiracy theories” and a waste of politicians’ time.

“Honestly, Representative Gerdes, this whole thing is just weird ... a little creepy, and I think that’s the point,” he said.

“Because this is all, in my opinion, a manufactured, debunked smear campaign against our Texas public schools. Governor Abbott has used this litter box rumor to paint our schools in the worst possible light ... These culture war attacks are nothing more than an effort to discredit our public schools to justify defunding those public schools.

“Texas librarians are not grooming kids. Texas teachers are not indoctrinating kids. And Texas schools are not providing litter boxes. And I think the most disappointing part about all this is that I think you know that.”

This viral myth first appeared in American politics in 2021

The OG litter box panic (P.S.: a great band name idea) seems to have come out of Canada in 2021.

“It seemed to me like it was a backlash against some of the progressive things that our schools are doing, and we would have many that would say this is rooted in hate and transphobia and homophobia and that message needs to be clear, it's not acceptable,” Prince Edward Island schools representative Norbert Carpenter told the CBC at the time.

But it didn’t take long for these (eternally) unsubstantiated rumors to make their way across the border, from a school board meeting in Michigan to Nebraska State Senator Bruce Bostelman famously clutching his proverbial pearls on a speech on the Senate floor to Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green reviving the claim at a Trump rally later that year.

And indeed, as Carpenter suspected, these “concerns” are generally tied to panic over trans children. The idea is, essentially, “if we let cis boys identify as trans girls, what’s to stop someone from identifying as an animal?” It’s a slippery slope argument that has not manifested in all the years it’s been discussed.

But are there any kids pretending to be animals in school?

Sure. They’re called “children,” and they’re playing. Kind of like how I pretended to be a mermaid any time I got in a pool from 1989 to 1992. Or how I was adamant that I was psychic in third grade. Was I psychic? Absolutely not. Did I even have slightly better intuition than other children? Also no. I was using my imagination and forming my identity just like any other kid; I just so happened to be melodramatic and weird.

Kids are still like that, bless them. Some may claim to be “Therians,” which is different from being a furry. The impulse of self-expression and whimsy is normal, and in most cases, it’s more of a fun trend than a lifestyle statement. In short, they sometimes wear masks and paw-like mittens and pretend to be animals. Children pretending to be animals sometimes!? Oh wait, that is very normal. Most importantly, these kids are not being given any special accommodations and certainly not litter boxes to poop in. (Sidebar: how would that even work, exactly? Where would you put the litter box? Who would clean it? Who has room in the budget for litter when, like, some kids are sitting at broken desks?)

File this under political “issues” that really aren’t — and that probably just exist to divide us.